Prisoners and Poems: surprisingly a recipe for laughter...

Happy New Year! 2011 brings some changes to our little book club. Our pal Diane is taking a leave of absence (we hope, we are all in denial that she may not actually come back) and thus, we have gained a new member. Welcome to Ann, we are happy to have you join us and we apologize (okay, I apologize) in advance for the many inappropriate comments to which you will be subjected. Let me start with this one, it was a very tricky process to pick a new member, so you'd better not let us down. Although, I will say that if last night was any predictor I think you are going to fit right in!


We have also welcomed back Tracy, who was a founding member, after her short leave of absence. I say "short" because in the span of 30 to 50 years of a book club (a girl can dream!), what is 3 or 4 years, really? We are so happy to have you back Tracy, just wait until you see how much less inhibited we've become!


Beth kicked off the year with an outstanding entry in to the "Best Book Club Meeting" of the year award category. From the cafeteria food (and styrofoam trays), the research, the visuals and the poetry lesson; to the questions, the "kites" and the name tags every detail of the night was creatively implemented! Bravo!!!


Now, without further ado (because I don't think any of you really want to hear me talk anymore) here are our jail house poems in no particular order, for you to peruse. Happy Reading!


Boomerang:
What can I say,
You're never there.
What is a guy to do, just stand here?
I looked out the window
and what do I see?
Not you, just another b*tch
looking at me
Instead of complaining,
why don't you do some explaining
Where the f*ck you been?
You know I have no pen!
So, if you want to talk,
get up, take a walk
C'mon, b*tch,to the window we agreed on
don't make me feel like no con.


*Boomerang is serving 10-15 for armed robbery and he is apologizing to his girlfriend in the tower for skywriting to another skank last night.


Banshee:
Denied my appeal
Confined Indefinitely
Jail love beats no love


L-squared (Lips-N-Lumps):
Hot mama where u at
I need you now
My sweet little cat


Your hips have swagger
Your titties bang
Your sweet a*s is like a dagger
Man! I need to touch my wang


For now you are in my dreams, 
We are together and safe
Maybe in a shower, with a lot of steam


Keep me in your htoughts
Stay by your window
I love you lots
You are my main bimbo


* L-Squared is trying to win over the hot mama flashing him from the tower, third window from the left, second floor as it is almost Valentine's Day.


A Pen's Pen (APP):
That b*itch done insulted my potatoes again,
So I let her have it.
Poured gravy down the front of her big ass silicone tits
Slapped her with a pork chop, right across her ho-b*tch face


How's I to know she had that shank 
Stabbed me right in my mother f*ckin shoulder


F*ckin c**t! Nows my shoulda's achin, 
and I still gots ta stir them damn mashed patatas, 
every f*ckin day


I'm waitin ta see what that
skanky b*tch's gonna say ta me tomorrow
It's aight, I got a big ass skillet waitin,
right here next ta me.


* APP's shoulder is still aching from the shank he took in the midst of the cafeteria riot last week


Taz:
Innocent


To be an innocent
In a world full of guilt
To be an innocent
In a world full of filth


To be an innocent
Helping a neighbor in stress
To be an innocent
Carrying some heroin in my a*s


To be an innocent
In a room, with a guard and a spoon
To be an innocent
And being asked to bend over and moon!


* Taz is TOTALLY innocent of all charges despite the ounce of heroin discovered during the cavity search


Lil Snookie:
I didn't mean it
She had it comin
But that man, he my life
and well, I was w/o a knife


Standin there with egg on my face
Wonderin how I got to this place
He told me "just mind my business and eat my fries"
But I saw her wanderin eyes


So, I looked down deep inside my soul
Told myself, she aint worth yo time
but something rose up, I coulda eat 10 dime


I grabbed below lickety plit,
And "whaaack" she'd been hit
Take my man?
Oh, no she won't


But lord your light done shone
And now I know I'm not alone
Stilleto shoes not good for yo feet
But revenge is sweet lord on the soul


Amen


PT Too Hot!
B*tch! You Ho!
I treated you right 
Then you snitch, 
Just for spite?


That jon damn paid good money 
Fo those extra tricks
Not my d*mn fault
He got all nasty with those sticks


Now, i stuck in here for a lon, long time
don't mean I won't take care of whats mine
So, now as you lay down
 yo skanky head
you'd best be ready for my boy
 to lay down some lead 


No one walks away from this daddy,
not unless yo want to end up in the vegetable paddy...


*PT Too Hot is pissed at one of his Hos for snitching on him to the cops.


Chaulkboard:
One Last


Incarcerated for 10-life
Leave behind my kids and wife


Im stuck in jail with Bubba-Mach
I just want my freedom back


I did not mean to shoot that man,
who made me mad, before I ran


He should notv'e dissed my new bling
I traded him a bullet for that zing


So, now I am here for a minor mistake
And here I lie, asleep and then awake


Spoonin with my cellmate 
Boy, this really makes me hate


I am getting sick of dick, I wants to hunt
I would trade my soul for just one last c*nt


* Now that Chaulkboard is behind bars he would trade his soul for one last...well, you know...

First Club of the New Year!

A shout out to my bitches in the tower! Great clubbing it wit' y'all last night! You skanks were mad crazy and those poems were some wacked s#*t! Keep it real homegirls! Catch y'all at the Shiva-sizzle!